


Benrey Build-A-Baby Momence

by CitrineGator



Series: We’ve known each-other for so long [3]
Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Fanchild fic, Gordon typical worrying, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, No Smut, Self-Indulgent, Teen is just for swearing, They are married, Very slight body horror, baby in egg, but chapter 2 is going to be angst, egg fic, egg summoning, im cringe i know, so i have to write it because, the egg hatches!!, they hav two kids now.., this is mostly going to be fluff, this shit SOFT, this wiggled into my brain months ago though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28992660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CitrineGator/pseuds/CitrineGator
Summary: Gordon mentioned he wouldn't mind another kid in the house and Benrey loves his husband very much so he's gonna give him one.(AKA Benrey summons an egg baby because Gordon was reminiscing from when Joshua was a young)
Relationships: Benrey & Joshua Freeman, Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Gordon Freeman & Joshua Freeman
Series: We’ve known each-other for so long [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952236
Comments: 50
Kudos: 134





	1. google what do i do when my husband summons an egg containing our second child?

**Author's Note:**

> i am lying on the floor. hello. yea im cringe for writing this but YOU'RE cringe for reading it so how does it feel. not really okay u are all my little pogchamps its alright. anyway. uh. yeah i wrote the first chapter of this months ago and have been editing bits ever since and i honestly. im very proud of this even tho cringe moments for me writing it.  
> i hope y'all like my brain rot!!

The first time Gordon had mentioned the idea of another kid, it’d been in an offhanded, sentimental comment about missing the days when Joshua was still a baby that he had been _pretty_ sure Benrey hadn’t been paying close attention to at the time. 

Apparently though, he was wrong. 

Gordon woke from a sharp pain in where his right arm had been. He didn’t remember whatever dream it’d been but judging from the ache in his forearm he had a pretty good guess. It’d been nearly six years since he’d lost the appendage, but damn if those phantom pains weren’t going away. Clutching his stump, he hissed out a sharp breath, waiting for the sensation to slowly dissipate. And as the burning sensation was on the tail end of tapering off, he opened his eyes to the darkness of the room and released his arm, patting the other side of the bed in search of his partner. Coming up with nothing, Gordon sucked in a calming breath, quelling his immediate anxiety and eased himself upright, squinting through the blackness of the room and just barely making out Benrey’s figure perched on the edge of the bed. 

“Benrey?” he asked quietly, sitting up straighter and watching with a sinking sort of feeling as he didn’t even move in response. _Maybe a nightmare then_ , he thought to himself, rubbing at one eye and mentally preparing for the fallout of whatever the bad dream could have been. 

Running his thumb over the scar-tissue around his arm once more, Gordon scooted over to his husband; _god_ , that was still a weird thought to think. But it was near immediately pushed out of his mind once Gordon’s hand fell on Benrey’s shoulder and the man nearly jumped out of his skin. Pulling back, Gordon warily eyed the teal orbs that popped against their ceiling before looking back to Benrey. 

His golden eyes were blown wide in the dark, pupils dilating and contracting as he stared at Gordon, “Uh,” he said smartly, gingerly shifting his hands clutching something to the front of his chest, “Sup.” 

“You alright bud?” Gordon asked his gaze shifting down to the object in Benrey’s hands, abruptly stopping as he recognized the shape of the large object, “Why… Do you have an ostrich egg?” 

Benrey glanced down to the egg in his hands, seeming mildly surprised at its presence despite him being the one holding it, “Oh uh…” he trailed off, brushing one thumb over the surface of the egg, “S’ not an ostrich egg. More like… Snake. Softer shell.” 

“That doesn’t answer the _why_ ,” Gordon laughed, moving so he was sitting down next to his partner, to get a better look at the egg. It was a saturated shade of royal blue that pulsed with a soft light, illuminating Benrey’s hands ghosting over its large surface. It was about the size of a smallish pumpkin, though the size didn’t seem to be hindering the other man any. But it was definitely _not_ a snake egg. Or at least not any species he knew of. 

Benrey offered him a nervous glance, “You uh… Said sum’ about missing when Joshy’ was a little shit baby so I uh. Yeah. Egg.” 

Gordon blinked at him once, rubbing the remaining sleep from his eyes before continuing, “Do _not_ tell me that you made some…” he gesticulated at the egg, being careful not to get close to it, but enough to emphasize his concerns, “That you made a kid from a comment I didn’t even think about.” 

Pouting Benrey glanced back down to the egg, “Then I uh. Wont. Totally not what happened.” 

Gordon didn’t really know how to feel at the new development just yet, so he allowed himself to slip into observation mode, just while he articulated his feelings about it all, “Did you… Like, create it? Or I don’t know- just, how’d you get the egg here?” 

Benrey tossed a cursory glance at him, “You’re not mad?” 

“I don’t know yet.” 

Wetting his lips nervously, Benrey turned his stare downwards, “I uh… Tommy made Sunkist years ago so I was uh, goin’ how hard could it be right? No problemo’ for me because I’m all cool and epic. Except there’s a _lot_ to think about for creating a whole nother’ creature. And I was like, well uh, it’s basically a Sims creator or whatever, right? Wrong again, stupid- dummy little head. Thinking making a little baby guy would be easy. S’ not, no sir. But I uh, spawned it in, I guess. By accident. You scared me a little.” 

Gordon shuffled closer to gaze at the egg that _apparently_ was actually holding a whole ass baby inside, “So… What all did you pick?” He asked, glancing back to Benrey who was still looking away from him, “You said it was kinda’ like an ah… Character creation screen?” 

“I uh… Kinda hard to explain bro,” Benrey mumbled, “Something mostly human like… You know… A Gordon base for a little alien baby. Gave em’ some epic gamer stats. Because I can, and uhh… Had to put em’ in an egg because I can’t just… Poof a thing like Tommy, so I uh, gave em’ claws to get out cuz’ an egg tooth isn’t really optimal… Woulda’ been cool though. Threw in shapeshifting because claws need to go away, please and thank you. Claws no good for all the time.” 

“So…” Gordon drug his palm down his face, trying his best to get his thoughts in order, “You just. Made a kid. That’s a baby in there.” 

Smart. 

Benrey made a face at him, “We’ve been over that bit bro, there’s little dude chilling in here, yeah.” 

“Will they need like, a heat lamp? You said it’s like a snake egg- do we need to bury this? Dude you can’t just- we should have _discussed_ this before-hand! Especially because you can’t just _bullshit_ your way through _making_ -” 

He was pre-emptively cut off as Benrey clapped his hand over Gordons mouth, making him scowl, “Dude, gotta shut- can’t yell. Hurt the baby’s feelings. Plus, Joshua’s still asleep.” 

“The baby is still an egg,” Gordon said, shoving Benrey’s hand off his face but complying nonetheless, lowering his panicky tone. 

“Hurt the baby’s feelings,” he repeated, “S’ gonna be fine though. Got my senses all attuned to this shit. Get… One of those warm lamps you said. It’ll be all good.” 

“You still should have brought this up with me beforehand,” Gordon grumbled peering closer at the egg still clutched in his partners hands, “Could I… Hold them?” 

Benrey threw him a cautious stare, “Not mad? Not gonna… Drop em?” 

Gordon’s brow furrowed as he beckoned Benrey to hand over the egg, “Of course not dude, our baby’s in there.” 

Benrey grinned warmly in response, a burst of blush pink sweet voice trailing past his lips and lighting his face in a familiar hue. Reveling in a drawn-out moment of fake contemplation, Benrey gingerly relinquished the egg to him with a hum “No uh, right way to hold it like a people baby but… Be careful. Please.” 

Gordon shifted the egg into his arms and, yeah, it was a little strange feeling, but it wasn’t gross by any means. It had a vaguely leathery texture but still firm to the touch, he knew if he pressed his fingers hard enough down that the shell would cave in- the thought immediately made Gordon queasy. He was absolutely _not_ going to harm the egg, and the fierce wave of defensiveness that washed over him helped beat the intrusive thought back. Because it was just that; just a thought. 

The blue light radiating off the egg brightened some in his arms and he couldn’t help the small smile that worked its way onto his lips. 

“Yoo, Feetman like? Good gift? Good present from me?” 

He couldn’t entirely bring himself to chastise the other man for the nickname at this point so he just nodded, “Yeah. Wait, did you just call the baby a _present_?” 

Benrey grinned, “Yeah, uh, duh, like a stork. Obviously. Don’t even know about the storks? Man, how’d you even raise Joshua without knowing that. Kid came from a stork, stupid. Can’t believe you didn’t learn from Yoshi’s Island like everybody else.” 

Gordon huffed out a laugh, shifting the egg in his grasp, “Well, we’ll want to get that lamp and something to put them in soon. We can’t just carry them around all the time and I’m pretty positive heat is a thing eggs need.” 

Nodding quickly, Benrey vanished from the side of the bed, leaving Gordon staring at the space he’d just occupied. Switching his gaze back to the egg he wondered distantly what Benrey had meant about ‘Gordon base for an alien baby’. Logically, he knew it probably implied that it was going to be a mix of himself and Benrey, but how his partner had even _gotten_ to that point was a question worth pondering. 

He knew Tommy had made Sunkist, and though they were completely genetically different, Tommy being a different species from Benrey, there were bound to be a difference in powers to consider. But there at least had to be a few overlapping similarities if they were both able to create life in the blink of an eye. The reason for why Benrey’d chosen him as a base for the kid was obvious, but how he’d even gained the genetic material to do so… 

Benrey popped back into existence back on the bed next to Gordon making him jolt and abruptly cough to hide his flushed expression. A few different things were clutched in the two sets of arms Benrey seemed to have materialized in the time he was gone, “Got the stuff.” 

He handed over a cat sized pet-bed and a soft little blanket folded neatly inside. Gingerly, Gordon maneuvered the egg into the bed, tucking the blankets edges over the rounded surface, watching from the corner of his eye as Benrey shifted the other items into his main hands, the second arms sinking back into his skin as soon as he’d made the transfer. 

Cradling the pet bed with one arm, Gordon traded off the egg and bed combo for setting up the heat lamp. He fumbled with the plug having only one hand at the moment and trying to squint through the dark for a bit, but he finally found the socket behind their desk. Situating the lamp, he cleared off a small space for the little bed to lay and turned back to Benrey. 

The man in question was lying on his side, apparently back to being dead asleep, with the egg clutched close to his chest. Gordon padded over quietly, prodding Benrey’s shoulder, “Not done yet man, gotta set the egg under the lamp.” 

Benrey groaned in response, yellow eyes blinking open to glare at him in the dark, “Fuck off,” he grumbled, carefully sitting back up and moving the egg under the lamp, blinking a few times at the sudden red light. 

“Thought you said no yelling?” Gordon asked teasingly as Benrey slumped back onto the bed. 

“Wasn’t yelling,” he whined, “Baby doesn’t know curse words yet either… So it doesn’t count,” Benrey trailed off as he fixed Gordon with a softer sort of glance, humming out a drowsy stream of silver. 

“M’, not actually… Made for making things,” he said finally, closing his eyes as Gordon settled onto his back next to him, “Little uh, little boo-boo on my part.” 

“So you tired yourself out from making them?” 

Benrey nodded, “Tommy’s made for it, and I’m… Not.” He let out a breathy laugh quickly followed up with a cough. 

Gordons’ brows drew together as he inched closer to his partner. He couldn’t see well from the backlit red light, but there was a sharper looking darkness under Benrey’s eyes, and he swore that there were a few more eyes than usual. When Benrey finally opened them again though, there were only the usual two. 

“You sure you’re alright bud?” Gordon asked attentively, rolling over and propping himself up onto his elbows so he could better see his expression. 

Benrey only grimaced, “Will be. Just major sucks right now. Got that whole, body n’ brain hurt,” Benrey’s gaze shifted to him after a moment of staring at the ceiling, “Did I wake you up with my bullshit though?” 

Draping his good arm over Benrey’s stomach and lying his head across his chest, Gordon shook his head, “No you were fine, phantom pain stuff was just coming back for a bit.” 

Benrey exhaled softly, one hand reaching up to card it through his loose hair, “It go away?” 

Gordon hummed in agreement, “Yeah. I got a little distracted by you summoning an egg baby out of nowhere to really focus on it anymore.” 

His partner grinned at that, “Two points for me.” 

“One point,” Gordon mumbled out, letting his eyelids fall closed, “Fixed arm pain with my _own_ brain.” 

“Power of ignoring,” Benrey agreed, though his voice was a little more muffled now through the haze of drowsiness that was overtaking him again. And soon enough, Gordon was out again, drifting through a peacefully fuzzy and dreamless sleep.


	2. pokemon theme song playing distantly while you sob

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WEHOO CHAPTER TWO!! i had my sibling read this over and they didn't see any issues so im jus goin ahead and posting thiz  
> CW this chapter fo playing down Bad situations, self-decapritation, fear of abandonment (?) and a child crying. (Gordon's jus worried abt having to take care o another kid so he overthinks it (comfort does ensue doe))

The next day was a blur of excitement and nervousness for Gordon. Joshua had immediately been excited about getting a new sibling and was insistent on getting to pick their name, but he eventually settled for picking their middle one instead. Gordon knew it was probably going to turn out to be something like buckaroo or cowboys two, but at least then they’d have two people in the house with strange middle-names; with his own regrettably being Martini. 

The Science Team were also thrilled about the new addition to their little family and had immediately come over to see the egg as soon as Gordon had called them all to tell them about it. Bubby had felt it necessary to immediately express his exasperation over everyone’s excitement, complaining the whole way. But Gordon found him more than once watching the egg very carefully, the older man’s hardened expression softening slightly at the blue sphere. 

Forzen, for one of the first times Gordon had ever seen, approached Benrey on his own and pulled him aside so they could talk. He made sure to check in on them every once in a while to make sure nothing was going to get too heated in their house, but for the most part their conversation seemed to be a normal amount of awkward and apologetic for probably not having talked decently in years. 

Tommy and Dr. Coomer were enthralled with the little egg, seemingly for different reasons, but Gordon was just happy that nobody had accidentally jostled the basket it was held in over. Not that he really expected anybody to do it anyway, he _had_ put more trust in them since the Resonance Cascade after all. But the Science Team still did tend to get a little overly rowdy. 

When Dr. Coomer asked to hold the egg though, Gordon immediately felt his blood pressure spike in a familiar apprehension. He… He was pretty confident that he wouldn’t drop them, but he’d also seen the scientists extend-o arms at work to take out massive aliens all those years ago, so it was a valid concern to fret over his strength. But he was family, Gordon reassured himself as he gingerly passed the glowing egg over; Dr. Coomer wouldn’t do anything to hurt their egg. Nobody here was going to damage their kid. It wasn’t going to come to any harm here. 

As the older scientist gently cradled the egg in his mechanical arms though, Gordon felt tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. Ones that he quickly turned to wipe away as Darnold gingerly pointed them out. Because he had a whole _family_ here. Gordon hadn’t seen his ‘actual’ family, outside of his sister in years, but he’d managed to make one all on his own. Even if they were all forced together by strenuous circumstances; this was his family, and they cared for him, and he for them in turn. 

And everyone was so nice to him it was almost unreal because it was- Gordon wasn’t used to taking comfort in the notion of family. And okay maybe they weren’t the _nicest_ group all the time, but they all loved each other, and that was what really mattered. 

It wasn’t till everyone was leaving for the day till Gordon realized how small that made him feel. Because he was _loved_ , and it felt like such a stupid revelation because, of _course_ he was. The Science Team wouldn’t keep coming over if they _didn’t_ love him. But Gordon… A cruel twinge at the base of his heart told him that he didn’t deserve it. Didn’t deserve the care they offered him despite the countless hours they’d all spent together. 

The feeling persisted even after everyone left; it was a weekend, so he was supposed to be taking it easy, but instead he holed himself up in their bedroom; turned office for the time being since the room that _had_ been his actual office was going into the process of being converted to a nursery; and set to grading his students late papers and reviewing the essay’s he was positive most of them had bullshitted their way through. Benrey popped in through the day to pass him snacks and water which Gordon appreciated, but it still felt like more of an annoyance than anything. Because, _yes_ , he really needed to get this done and yes, he would take a break soon, _thank_ you for feeding the cat, now get _out_ please so I can actually _work_. 

Finally though, Benrey managed to coax him out with the promise of popcorn and a movie, which was basically ritual for all of their Science Team free weekends at this point. And glancing at the time, _oh_ , ouch, yeah, he really had overdone it more than he’d meant to. Spent the whole day staring at his shitty little laptop that he really needed to replace sometime soon. Folding the screen over and plugging it in, Gordon changed into a comfortable sleep shirt and padded down the stairs to meet Benrey in the living room where he was already waiting. 

Collapsing against his partners side, Gordon listened to him as he started to ramble about the plot of the movie and that he’d already helped Joshua to bed. It was some old Pokémon one that Gordon hadn’t seen before, but Benrey seemed pretty into it so he’d let it slide for movie night. Plus, it meant he’d probably get to pick something extra bad for the next weekend when it was his turn to choose again so he let it play without much complaint. 

The restlessness he’d been feeling ever since his realization earlier in the day crept up on him in the middle of the movie. And after a few minutes of shuffling in place, he asked Benrey to pause it as he drifted in the direction of the bathroom, his head buzzing with some sort of uncomfortable energy. Locking the door behind himself, Gordon paused to lean his head down against the counter, letting the pleasant chill of the marble ground him some. The bathroom lights still stung his eyes when he lifted his head back up, but his head felt clearer than before. At least a little bit. 

He watched his reflection in the bathroom mirror, tired, dull eyes staring back at him with the same hollowness that had been gnawing at him for the whole day. He didn’t… Gordon didn’t feel very special. 

Of course, he was lucky to be alive after everything he’d been through and he was very grateful for it. He was lucky to have survived and been able to come back home and see his son again. He was lucky to be able to see Joshua growing up. He was lucky that he’d finally managed to let his guard down enough to let someone else in. He was lucky for the little golden band around his finger, two rings intertwining into one, an orange jewel and a shining blue one that winked at him when he twisted his hand in just the right lighting. And he was so lucky for the newest addition to their household, the small little egg that he already had so much love for. He was lucky for the family he had managed to make. 

But Gordon didn’t feel especially special for it. Which- that was normal, a family- _everybody_ had a family. But not everybody’s family was full of superhumans and aliens from space. So… Compared to everyone else, he… He didn’t really matter as much did he? 

Sure, he’d ‘lead’ The Science Team through the aftermath of the Resonance Cascade, even if it was more of everyone deciding to humor him in letting him be the leader. Because even to then, it’d been obvious that he was no way qualified to do so when they were all so much stronger. 

Tommy was the son of some otherworldly space god with powers over time itself, and he could create things with a snap of his fingers; even if it was usually soda. Dr. Coomer was a lead scientist with so many robotic enhancements Gordon was positive that he’d never make it through the scanners by the entrance of a supermarket, let alone the ones in an airport. Bubby, the _perfect scientist_ , was born from a whole fucking _tube_ in some shitty lab. Darnold managed to keep his whole science department open despite being the only one in it and had escaped the whole fallout of the Resonance Cascade on his own. Forzen… Gordon wasn’t exactly sure what he was capable of, aside that he was like Benrey in some vague sense. But they’d all _easily_ survived Black Mesa. 

And Benrey. Gordon hadn’t managed to piece together a lot of his partners' past, but from the bits and pieces he’d been told over midnight discussions over the years, and from what little he’d remembered from when he was a kid, he knew it wasn’t good. The ‘Y’ shaped incision on his chest was evidence enough. He may not have completely survived Black Mesa, but he’d still made it out alive and relatively in one piece. 

They were all special. People who were strong enough to get through the trials that’d been thrown at them and come out, maybe not unscathed, but strong enough to heal from what they’d been through. 

And then there was Gordon. He… hadn’t really survived anything. Or at least it didn’t really feel like he had. Everyone had basically carried him through Black Mesa while he’d been shouting and almost crying the whole way. And he _still_ struggled with the entirety of what he’d experienced. From the papercut thin, now-faded lines of the various scars littering his body to the stump of his right hand and the nightmares that plagued him after especially bad days. Gordon was still dealing with the fallout of Black Mesa while everyone else seemed to have moved on with their lives. 

And it felt so _shitty_ of him to still be complaining about it all even though the event had happened years ago now. Everyone else had recovered from Black Mesa relatively quickly, so he should just… Tuck it all back up and away in his chest and never say a word about his encroaching melancholy to anyone. 

It was a sound plan. 

Extremely foolproof. 

Sure, his childhood hadn’t been the best, ostracized by his parents after coming out to them and forcing him to leave the house; adopting Joshua with another spouse what felt like a lifetime ago and having them end up dead not a year later. Sure, he’d lived through a mini apocalypse at his former workplace and lost his right hand there, but it all felt so trivial compared to what else everyone else had survived… He shouldn’t be feeling this way. There wasn’t any real reason for it. It wasn’t aiding anybody, especially not himself, so the feelings bubbling up in his chest should just... Go away and let him carry on. 

Gordon sighed, leaning his head back as he rubbed at his eyes. He knew what he was thinking was irrational. Mostly. Because his strange little family _did_ care about him; each in their own way, but they still cared about him. It felt so hard to accept that idea though, all those extraordinary people; people who were _better_ than him in a hundred different ways, that they _cared_ about him? 

He should just. Stop feeling like such garbage so he could swallow that fact without feeling nauseous anymore. He should walk back out to the living room where Benrey was so they could watch the movie again. He’d already been in here for an unreasonable amount of time anyways. 

Washing his hand more out of habit than necessity, mostly to get rid of the sick feeling writhing in his chest, Gordon quickly dried his hands off and grabbed onto the doorknob of the bathroom. Pausing to take in a calming breath and pull on a neutral, steely expression, he finally stepped back out. Padding to the living room, Gordon returned to his spot on the couch, purposefully ignoring the quick, concerned look Benrey shot him before glancing at the still paused TV. 

“You could uh, start the movie again,” Gordon murmured, “Sorry I took so long.” 

Hesitantly clutching the remote in one hand, Benrey frowned but pressed play anyway, settling back farther down into the couch. 

As the movie progressed, Gordon fell back into the motions of waiting behind a dull expression. He wasn’t really focused on what was happening on the screen any more, but every so often Benrey would make a quiet comment on it and he’d have to nod or hum something out in response. About when the movie was reaching its climax though, Gordon felt his breathing hitch uncomfortably in his chest at the sight of the prone form of one of the Pokémon clutched in the protagonist’s hands. He powered through the strained tension though, barely noticing how Benrey was leaning closer against him, wrapping a tentative arm around his shoulder and- 

And that was all it took for Gordon to unravel at his seams. Folding forward, Gordon struggled to breathe over his sudden onset sobs. Pain curled inside his lungs as he held his breath, trying not to be too loud out of a distant fear of waking Joshua. He heard Benrey saying something from the spot next to him, but his voice was too removed for Gordon to make the words out over the overwhelming white noise in his head. 

Leaning into the other man’s grasp, Gordon turned the side of his face against Benrey’s chest, feebly grabbing at his partner's waist for something to hold onto. And worming his arms around Benrey’s torso, he pulled himself as close as he could in his sideways position, finally allowing a sharp inhale back into his lungs. 

Heaving in ragged, dizzying breaths, Gordon waited himself out till he was positive he could speak without breaking again. And all the while, Benrey sat there, rubbing small circles into his back, murmuring an unconscious stream of words to him as he pressed soft kisses to the top of his head. 

“You’re alright Gordos’. Gonna’ be just fine. Getting that good cry. Totally cool,” Benrey paused to run his fingers through Gordon’s loose ponytail, “When you can though, tell best friend Benrey why though? When- when you’re ready to say those cool and epic words?” 

Gordon nodded faintly, rubbing at his face with the sleeve of his shirt as he moved to sit back upright. Benrey let him twist himself over but kept it so his head was still resting in their lap as he ran clawed fingers through Gordon’s now loose hair. Gordon worried at his lip for a while, trying to parse out a full sentence instead of just spitting out some indecipherable bullshit. 

“Yeah uhm, I- Joshua’s a really good kid,” he started, immediately glancing away and giving up on his whole plan to maintain eye contact to make it seem like he wasn't as hurt over this as he really was, “But I still feel like I didn’t do _good enough_ sometimes, you know? It was just- it was me and him for the longest time and I just feel like I wasn't the best parent I could have been for him then. And now theres going to be _another_ kid and I’m just going to fuck it all up because you all can actually _do_ things right and I’m- I’m just _me_. And I fuck everything up but I cant afford to do that to our goddamn _kid_. I’m still just so fucking scared that I’ll-” 

Gordon choked on a second onset of tears, drawing his left arm up to cover his eyes as he continued, “And I’m just going to fuck it up, and then I think you’ll fucking _leave_ , and I know that’s so _stupid_ , but I’m just really scared man.” 

Rolling back over to bump his head Benrey’s chest, Gordon hid his face there while a few more dry sobs wracked his tired body. He already _knew_ it was a fucking dumb thing to think. Benrey wasn’t just going to up and _leave_ him, but it was still a worry in the back of his mind. Because what if he finally saw how incompetent he actually was and left and- Gordon would be in _pieces_ over it, and then _Joshua_ would get taken away from him because he was an incompetent parent and he’d be all _alone_. 

He must have started babbling at some point because Benrey abruptly grabbed ahold of his face with a delicate grasp, “Dude, look at me, _please_ look.” 

Suppressing the tremor of another sob, Gordon forced himself to meet Benrey’s worried eyes. 

“I’m _never_ just going to leave you bro. Would never do that. I love you, love Joshie and the whole fam’. Joshie’s upstairs in his room and I’m right here. Not going anywhere.” 

Gordon swallowed hard, his throat bobbing as he squeezed his eyes shut again, “I know. I’m still scared though.” 

Benrey made a sad noise as he carefully hefted Gordon up so he was situated in his lap, so the both of them had their chins tucked over the others shoulder. 

“Bro _you’re_ the experienced one here. I’m gonna have to be the fail, cringe parent. You’re going to do so good and I’m gonna’… Have to learn how to spoon feed a kid, and change a diaper or whatever. You already got all the knowledge and high stats, gonna’ have to help your low level buddy out. Don’t go and beat yourself up over it.” 

“We don’t even know if they’re going to be able to even eat baby food though,” Gordon mumbled, tightening his hands into fists in the back of Benrey’s shirt, “You don’t even know what they’re going to turn out like, so I sure as hell don’t either. We could- we could fuck this up man.” 

“We won’t.” 

Gordon snorted, “Yeah? How so? Neither of us know what we’re getting into here.” 

“Does anybody though?” Benrey asked softly, “Just gonna’ have to learn together to get that A plus. Baby simulator, platinum rank. We _win_ the game.” 

“I don’t think that’s a thing you can _get_ dude.” 

Benrey seemed a moment away from responding before Gordon felt his chin abruptly lift from his shoulder. Some sort of awareness seeped back into Gordon as he glanced back to where Benrey seemed to be looking. 

Joshua shuffled in place at the bottom step of the staircase, his expression pinched and red like he’d been holding in tears for a while, immediately making Gordon’s heart ache. 

Rolling off Benrey, Gordon carefully waved Joshua on over with one hand, “Hey there bud, thought you were in bed?” 

Joshua shook his head as he padded across the room, slotting himself between him and Benrey, “Heard you guys from upstairs,” he said in a little hushed voice, pulling his knees up to his chest as he leaned partially onto Benrey’s side. 

Gordon winced as he draped one hand down onto Joshua’s shoulder, “Sorry if we woke you.” 

Shaking his head, Joshua’s gaze flicked to him for a moment before dropping away, “No, couldn’t- couldn’t sleep.,” Joshua was quiet for a moment before shifting in place slightly to hold onto three of the fingers of Gordon’s prosthetic, “When… When the egg hatches will you- are you guys going to forget about me?” 

As tears finally spilled down over Joshua’s face, Gordon felt that aching piece of his heart splinter open because _of course not_ , but before he was able to move to hold Joshua close and tell him as much, Benrey leaned over to thumb away the tears rolling down Joshua’s face. 

“Hey, what made you think that little dude? You’re the epic little gamer who can beat everybody here at Mario Kart, course’ we wouldn’t forget you. Plus, we both love you a whole lot okay? Why’d you think we’d just forget?” 

Joshua sniffed, and Gordon watched as his hand tightened around the metal fingers of his prosthetic a few times, “In the movies, the parents always- they always spend more time with the second kid because it- it’s a baby. But the first one usually gets mad at them for it but- but I don’t _wanna_ ' be mad at you guys. Because I do want a sibling, but I don’t- I don’t want you guys to forget about me either.” 

Gordon swallowed over what felt like a hundred briars lodged in his throat as he pulled Joshua into a hug, “Nothings going to _change_ Joshie', I promise. We might have to re-arrange our schedule around a bit when they- they hatch, but if anything, it’ll mean we can probably spend _more_ time at home with you, okay? I promise we aren’t just going to forget. Not in a million years.” 

“A hundred percent little bro,” Benrey chimed in, easing into their huddle, “Could never forget about you. ‘Specially when you’re the only one who stands a chance against Coomer in Super Punch Out. Little player two.” 

Huffing out a laugh, Joshua wriggled his way out of both of their grasp, to batter his hands against Benrey’s front, “I’m _not_ little anymore. I’m four feet and two inches!” 

“Yuh-huh you are. Smaller than me n’ Dad; makes you a little man.” 

As Gordon watched Joshua try in vain to argue against Benrey without breaking into a fit of giggles, he felt a warm sense of relief wash down over him; a ray of clarity breaking though his worried haze of thoughts. Because, sure, he may have not been the perfect parent, but here, right in front of him, was living proof that it would all turn out alright in the end. Gordon had help with raising Joshua, from his first partner, to his sister and then to Benrey, he hadn’t done it all on his own. And despite his fears, Joshua had turned out just fine. 

So, with the two people he loved most in the entire world at his side, Gordon would be okay in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and dat's dat! im actually rlly worried fo how I wrote joshua but.. idk man. feels right. also. mad with how many italics i used but urhhgg im uber tired so it jus might be that lol. s prolly just fine. anyway! ima read comfort fic and go to bed goodNIGHT! ! ! and ily all <3 /p


	3. how do you go about preparing for another kid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and the last chapter!! its really strange to me that this is like... the last chapter of this entire series like. man. Man! i've never gotten this far in my writing before and it's absolutely wild to me that there are some ov u still out there who have seen this whole thing through from beginning to end like... wow.. im just. im looking at u guys and jus. man. emotional a bit!  
> i was telling my mom abt how i had to research how snake eggs hatch a few months back for this fic and she stopped and looked me in the eye and went 'you've done that before' and so reasonably i was like??? huh? and she jus went. yeah you've researched snake hatching like. three other times. which is WILD to me because. i don't remember those at all. discarded memory...  
> anyway lol!!! chappy where egg hatches :)

Months passed as Gordon slipped back into the regular cycle of a comforting monotony. They finally cleaned up Gordon’s office to serve as a nursery, painting the walls down with a pale shade of sky blue that Benrey had felt the need to splatter a series of pinks into as well. Which, admittedly, didn’t look half bad in the end. But Gordon much would have preferred it if Benrey had let him know before walking back into the room after a quick, harmless bathroom break to see pink paint splattered over the walls and get an immediate splash of paint right to his face. Given, Benrey _had_ done it by accident, but if the initial smack of paint had led to a war of it being thrown around the room to see who could get who doused in the most paint, who was there to tell. 

Certainly not Joshua, who had called the Science Team to tell them about it from their home phone while he and Benrey were busy giggling about it. 

As the egg grew progressively larger though, Gordon was eventually confronted with the reality that there was something _alive_ in there, and they were both going to have to pick a first name for them. 

“Zelda.” 

“No.” 

“Tracer.” 

“The fucking Overwatch character? No.” 

“Nariko.” 

“We are _not_ naming our kid after that shitty PS3 game’s protagonist man.” 

Benrey gasped, glancing up from the Switch with a faux furious glare, shifting up from the side of the couch he was resting on, “Heavenly Sword is not a shitty game, you- you’ve gotta take that back. Right now, come on. You’ve seen me play it before; it’s not shit.” 

Shaking his head Gordon glanced back down to the website he’d been scouring for names that were better than whatever video game references Benrey had been spitting out for the past five minutes, “Yeah, I saw that gameplay, and it was still a bunch of garbage with too many bullshit fighting scenes.” 

“It’s better than Kane and Lynch Dog Days two.” 

Gordon shot a sour look over at Benrey on the other side of the couch, “I said that in a moment of _panic_ , alright. Kane and Lynch is still a good game though.” 

“You got a better name idea than Nariko then smart guy?” 

Gordon blanked as he looked back over to Benrey, “Uh- the uhm- Chikorita.” 

The name startled a harsh laugh out of Benrey, and Gordon immediately leaned over, putting his forehead to his knees with a groan, “That’s _not_ what I meant to say.” 

“Naming the kid after a fucking Pokémon? Real- real shit?” 

“ _No_ \- it was an accident, okay? Fuck man, how- okay, how does uh… Salem sound.” 

Benrey wrinkled his nose as he recovered from the sudden bout of laughter, “Like the cat from that- the witch show? The black cat? Pass.” 

Gordon hummed in response as he glanced back to the list, scrolling down a bit before he found something slightly better, “Rowan?” 

“Lame. Type of tree.” 

Huffing, Gordon looked a little further, pausing as he contemplated one of the last names on the list, “How about Quin?” 

Benrey looked back up to meet Gordon’s stare, his mouth opening, no doubt to refuse the name as well before he paused. Jaw clicking back shut as he glanced back down to the switch in his lap, his eyebrows furrowing in contemplation, “That one’s good. You- you like it?” 

Gordon worried at his lip, and he flipped the phone face-down over his chest, “I don’t know man, it sounds _alright_ , I guess. I mean- Joshua already picked their middle name as _Kiwi_ , so I don’t know, I just don’t want to curse the kid, you know?” 

“ _Chikorita_ would be a fuckin’ curse bro, Quin is fine. You like the name or nah?” 

“It feels like too much responsibility just to fucking- pick a whole ass name, I mean, I hardly chose Joshua’s! This is-” 

“Dude,” Benrey leveled him with a flat stare, “We can keep looking for names if you’re not sold on that one, but if we both agree on it and _genuinely_ like the name, there’s gonna be no problem bro. Didn’t fuckin’ decide to name the kid some shit like _Stong_ , so I think you’re okay. Do you like the name? 

“Yeah…” 

“Then we got kid number two. Quin Kiwi Freeman.” Gordon snorted as he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, the sense of tightness in his chest receding back as he sunk further into the couch, “Sounds like the code-name for a mixed drink.” 

“Yeah? No better than yours, Martini.” 

“Oh fuck off.” 

. . . 

Gordon was in the middle of teaching his second-period class when his phone chimed out from its place on his desk. Pausing in his lecture for a moment with a brief apology, Gordon quickly trotted back to his desk to see Benrey’s familiar icon lighting up the front of his screen. It was a picture Gordon had managed to snag of him while he’d been asleep, passed out at Tommy’s apartment before they’d actually left for the night, a bit of white and peach sweet voice clouded around his mouth as he’d slept. Forzen had dumped a water bottle over his head a few moments after to wake him up. 

Flicking his phone onto silent, Gordon stowed it away in his bag by the foot of his desk. He could still hear the faint vibrations of it still ringing from in there, but it wasn’t nearly as distracting as before. As he padded back out to the front of his board to continue the lesson, Gordon could _still_ hear the muffled ringing from his bag, starting up for a while, stopping, and starting again because _apparently_ , Benrey felt the need to call him in the middle of a class that he _knew_ Gordon was teaching. 

As the fifth consecutive call finally ended without another follow-up, Gordon’s shoulders finally dropped, allowing him to resume the lesson without the call being a wonder in the back of his mind. And then the phone on his desk started ringing. 

Unable to quell the sigh that tore free from himself, Gordon stalked across the room once more with yet-another hasty apology before picking up the phone. 

“I swear to the fucking heavens if this is about the Nintendog’s game you’re _convinced_ I hid from you-” 

“Egg’s hatching. Get back over here ASAP. It’s uh, there’s a lil’ crack, don’t know what to do bro.” 

Gordon blanched as he glanced back to his class, a few of them watching him with mild interest but turning their heads away as he glanced back out to them, “Shit, I’m- I’ll be there in a minute. I’ve gotta pack up all my stuff.” 

“Please hurry, don’t- don't know how to deal.” 

Quickly hanging up, Gordon carelessly shoved his belongings on his desk into his bag as he tried to gather up all the essentials off his desk, "I've- okay, I'm canceling class for the rest of the day, sorry for this being so abrupt," Gordon huffed as he struggled to screw the cap back onto his water bottle before ultimately deciding to abandon it on his desk for whenever he came back, "I'm uh- I'm having a kid I guess, which counts as an emergency so! Yeah, sorry, no homework, you're all free to go!" 

Slinging the bag over his shoulder, Gordon darted from the room, fumbling around in his pockets for his keys and lanyard as he ran. Being on the second floor was unfortunate, but he managed to get down to the first in a short enough amount of time. Only _nearly_ tripping over his own shoes and tumbling head-first down the stairs twice. Rushing out to his car, he quickly started it up and tore out of the parking lot at speeds Bubby would have been proud of. It didn't take him long to get home, probably because he was breaking the speed limit of every road he drove on, but it was _justified_. 

As soon as he managed to pull into their driveway, Gordon leaped free from the car, barely managing to lock it behind himself as he dashed inside. Tearing up the stairs and just avoiding eating shit on the top step, Gordon slipped into the nursery with a surprisingly controlled skid over the carpet. 

Benrey was leaning over the cat-bed that'd been holding the egg inside with an owl-eyed stare, pupils blown out impossibly wide. His head snapped up at Gordon's entrance though and hurriedly waved him over, "Top part's open, look." 

A sudden wave of nerves washed down over him as he carefully crept across the distance from the door to Benrey's side, peering down over his shoulder at the egg in the padded container. And just as he'd said, the top-most pieces had peeled open, leaving just enough of a gap for air but not enough to get a good look at the shifting form inside. 

"Do… Do we help open it up?" 

Gordon shook his head as he moved closer so he wasn't stuck looking over Benrey, "No, you- you're supposed to let them do it on their own. Something about hurting them if you do it yourself." 

Benrey let out a worried hum, a streak of yellow sweet voice spilling past his downturned lips, "S' been like that for a while though. I don't- don't think it's supposed to take long." 

"It'll be fine," Gordon said, mostly to Benrey, but he couldn't help but put the sentiment on loop in his own mind as well, "I read it can take up to a day sometimes; it's not always immediate. For snakes at least." 

And just as if to mock him, a pudgy, clawed little hand scraped at the open airway, peeling a few patches of the softened shell back inside the egg. Gordon sucked in a breath at the hand still resting on the outside lip of the shell. Their claws were dark like Benrey's when he got nervous, but from what Gordon could see, which, admittedly wasn't much, just an arm, they seemed to look more like him. A tiny huff echoed from the insides of the egg as a second hand worked its way into the mix, pulling further at the exterior of the egg, finally freeing their face, letting them squint upward. 

And immediately Gordon wanted to reach down and pry the rest of the shell away from them to hold them tight to his chest like he'd done with Joshua so many times before. Their eyes were dark like his own, but their hair was matted and black against their head, dark curls fraying upward around their forehead. While their nose was plainly Benrey's with the arched curve, Gordon could almost see the faint traces of himself hidden away there. Small hands wrapped around the edge of the shell as they peeled more of it away, now finally able to see. Gordon doubted they could see _much_ with the squinty little glare they were maintaining, but as they shifted back around to work themselves the rest of the way out, he glanced back over to Benrey. 

His partner was watching with an acute fascination, his gaze fixed downward with a starry-eyed look, "They're so _small_." 

Gordon let out a breathy laugh as he glanced back to their kid, now having rolled the opening onto its side, the top of their head and hands poking out, "You've seen babies before though, right?" 

Benrey nodded distantly, watching as their kid's front half poked out with a tug, "Yeah, but- never up close, fuck, they're just _tiny_. I wasn't _ever_ that small." 

Figuring it was fine now that they'd managed to free themselves, mostly all the way, he quickly ducked down and grabbed one of the softer baby blankets, gingerly easing back up to carefully pull their baby- _Quin_ from the remainder of the eggshell. Wrapping them up in a semi practiced motion, Gordon carefully cradled their swaddled form in his arms. 

"Holy shit," Reaching a tentative hand out, Benrey brushed back on their still damp hair, running a thumb over their forehead as he watched Quin intently, "Holy _shit_." 

Quin made a soft babbling noise, their nose wrinkling as they wriggled one arm out of the blanket, their hand reaching up to where Benrey's had ghosted over their head. A few bubbles of green to blue rising from their lips with a soft sigh, further confirming their status as not entirely human but somewhere in-between. 

Gingerly, Benrey reached his hand back out, one finger extended as Quin readily wrapped their tiny hand around it with a happy burble. Gordon let his gaze flick to Benrey for a moment, watching his partner in a comfortable sort of trance as he let Quin fumble around with his finger. 

"Can- could I hold them? I- I just copy how you're doing it?" 

Gordon shifted his hold on Quin, who seemed to be more on the verge of drifting off now, their grip slackening around Benrey's finger and their dark lashes fluttering shut, "Make sure you've got their head in the crook of your elbow. It's- it's uh, easier to support it there," carefully handing them over to Benrey, being cautious not to try and wake them, Gordon adjusted his partners hold a little before easing back, smiling at the near-immediate tender look that washed over Benrey's features. His hands curled protectively around Quin as he repositioned his grip ever so slightly, their body so tiny looking in his arms. 

If someone had told Gordon maybe eight or so years earlier that he'd be sharing his life, and another kid, with the same not quite human person who'd unintentionally resulted in him losing an arm, he probably would have scoffed and called bullshit. But watching Benrey across from him, looking down at their sleeping kid in his arms with an attentive, almost reverent look, Gordon couldn't imagine himself wishing for anything else. 

Because this was his _family_ , here in their pink and blue room, with Joshua at his elementary school, the Coomer's in their comfortable little home, and with Tommy, Darnold, and Forzen who'd finally managed to secure a place of their own nestled into the deeper parts of the city. They were all Gordon's family. And he was never letting that go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAHHWAHFSD AND THAS THE END OF DIS SERIES... TY TO EVERYBODY WHO COMMENTED AND KUDO-ED YALL AR DA REAL ONES.. there aren't enough chapters in this fic fo me to do specific callouts fo da epic swag ppl who kept me motivated fo this but!! yall who DID comment? im kissing each of u on da cheek *muah* ty!!  
> its kinda unreal to me that this series is ending here but like.. man. good end lol. who knows doe! maybe i'll come back in a few months time and write the frenrey wedding i skipped over, but maybe not! idk.  
> fr tho. thank u to erybody who's kudo-ed and read this, it rlly means da world to me :]]  
> im defo not done with writing for hlvrai *looking at the three ongoing fics i have rn lol* but thats the end of this series! hope yall enjoyed! :]

**Author's Note:**

> im unsure of beta reader status fo now but the first chapter defo wasn't beta read because im an impatient person and posted this because i need to share at all times. idk abt the rest of the chapters. but! if u see an error in da text plz tell me okay? okay ty tyyy


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